Team Update: Tough Times, But We Have New Crewmembers! [2019]

Cᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ Iɴᴅᴇx —

a Team Update by the Azure-Winged Magpie.

Click here to skip horribly depressing stories

Sorry we haven’t been around so much.

The-Corvid-Review-Banner

(◕︿◕) sorry folks… going’s been tough

Text deleted.


So… I’m really late to this. 

ᴛʜᴇ Vᴜʟᴛᴜʀᴇ 
ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴅᴇᴄᴋs 

Way back in January, the Crow recruited a new member to head up a new division of The Corvid Review. His name is the Vulture (still not sure about his colour code, but we already have a “brown-necked raven”) and I haven’t met him yet, but he’s heading up our new “Theatre Reviews” section and so far he’s done two posts. He’s an actor who goes to watch plays a lot so… why not get him to analyse what he sees (more data is useful for our plans of world domination!)?!
You can read his reviews here:

So he’s described himself as a…

Actor. Writer. Professional arsehole

the Vulture, The Corvid Review

(ಠ ) !

The Crow’s getting beaten up soon. How come this new guy gets to swear and I can’t?! I’M the professional swearer on this blog! I’m staking my claim! The line’s gonna be drawn here! Here and no further

Aaanyway! He’ll be formally introducing himself soon, so let’s move on to our next newest crewmember!

The Corvid Review - 2019 Cover mid with Maja - 2UDbzL3

ᴛʜᴇ (sᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇᴅ) Nᴜᴛᴄʀᴀᴄᴋᴇʀ 
ʙʀɪᴅɢᴇ ᴄʀᴇᴡ —

So some people might’ve noticed how our banner image looks a bit… bare. Ever since we unleashed it onto you unsuspecting mortals, there’s ONE thing about it that I kept secret. It was meant to have another person in it. (That picture up there’s incomplete btw).

And yep! This also means that there are going to be a lot more pictures on The Corvid Review.
Just like I promised

I’ve been trying to recruit this stupid woman ever since last November. I’ve known her since I was like a tot and we used to write stuff together wayyy back when. But she just never showed up for months.

We were supposed to review Aquaman together and she never turned up.
We were supposed to review Bumblebee together and she never turned up.
We were supposed to do a special “bird-birds” review and she never turned up.
It got to the point where I started taping up and looking to break a few bones (the Crow’s. I’d never hurt the Nutcracker. She’s too pretty for that). 

BUT! She’s FINALLY here! She’s been our biggest fan since like October (and liked almost every.single.post on the blog) and it was going to happen at one point or another. 

And she’s already done a review! Since I was down and out for a few days recently after utterly destroying Star Trek: Nemesis, she swooped in to give us an assist by reviewing the 2009 Star Trek film! And now we’ve only got three posts to go to finish up our Star Trek Celebration!

The Corvid Review - Star Trek Month Star Trek 2009 - LdV1uVH
We finally made it into the future you lot!

The Crow’s going to take a little while with his destruction of Star Trek Into Darkness (I’ve read the first bit. He’s not being very nice to the film), so the next thing going up’s going to be a post where the “bird-birds” get together to watch an episode. But let’s get back to the Nutcracker first!

The Nutcracker’s been my bestie for a long long long time. We kinda fell out of touch in the middle but we picked up right where we left off around the time the Crow and I fell out last year. She’s basically my film-watching buddy and we have a lot of fun splitting the bill over whatever film we’ve gone to watch (it’s always the damn nachos)! 

And here’s the thing. We don’t really agree on films most of the time.

But that’s NO problem! She’s not here to do film reviews! The Nutcracker’s going to be taking over our TV reviews division (which I’ve kinda… ignored for a while). She’s going to start off slow… fixing up my leftovers and everything before bringing something to The Corvid Review that we really should’ve had right since the start (isn’t this kinda what Ops officers are for?!). 

It never helped that I was the only one of us who watched this awesomeness (this is why the Crow’s a dopeyhead). I made him sit and watch Series 7 with me and he was plain confused since he hadn’t watched anything since like Series 1 (he also hates the books and once got knocked over by GRRM).

Just like the Crow’s handling Star Trek: Discovery these days, the Nutcracker’s gonna be handling Game of Thrones week in week out when the new series drops. And there’ll be so many Stranger Things and Altered Carbons and Serieses of Unfortunate Events (which the Crow never got around to) and… damn she’s got a lot on her mind. She’s joined up full-time but she won’t be here as often as I will since she’s got something called a job which takes up her “time”, but she’s here to stay.

And you know what? Why don’t I let her introduce herself?

The Corvid Review - Nutcracker Inset - pAwSZ6v

The (spotted) Nutcracker: Hello everyone! I already introduced myself in my debut post, but I guess I have to do it again. I’m still finding my feet on The Corvid Review (and getting used to suddenly being a bird at the same time), and I wasn’t really able to figure out what to start with, so it was a good thing that Captain Crow handed me the Star Trek draft last week. He also handed me his Shape of Water draft, and it might be my next post once Godzilla Month starts up. 

I’m going to start doing my own work on the TV reviews section of this blog once the last season of Game of Thrones begins. And I’ll be bringing you a lot more than Game of Thrones. I’d like to do more than one a week when the series starts up again, but I can’t make any promises (just making that official). 

Until I see you next time, it’s nice to meet you all! I hope to have a lot of fun times on The Corvid Review.

— Bye! 

The Corvid Review - Azure-Winged -Shimmering- Magpie Inset - ZUHc0HY

The Azure-Winged “Shimmering” Magpie: And there we go! We finally have ALL THREE major colours from Star Trek to represent the blog! I’d get the Crow to fix up our banner image but I think we’ll wait until the Nutcracker gets into the swing of things.

Next up, we’ve got either Trials and Tribble-ations or Star Trek Into Darkness before we go back and take a look at the next episode of Star Trek: Discovery.

The reason why this post had to be put off for so long is that we were waiting for our new crew to arrive onboard the TCR Corvidae. And they finally arrived via our support ship yesterday (as in, they finally made proper accounts for the blog; the number on the picture is wrong because the Crow messed up) and now they’re finally ready to get started!

So yeah! We’re all set for the future and we’re nearly done with our Star Trek Celebration! We’re going to go whip around the sun and get a post done by tomorrow so that we can get everything done (and put a pretty bow on it!) by the end of the month.

I’ll see you (or the Crow will) in the next one!

Azure-Winged Magpie up! Up! And Awayyy! *BONK!*


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I’m getting to it! I’m getting to it! 

Pɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛ / Tᴡɪᴛᴛᴇʀ / Fʟɪᴘʙᴏᴀʀᴅ


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