Roast-a-view: Star Trek X: Nemesis [2002]; She’s a… Stinker! (Prepare to be Annoyed)

Cᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ Iɴᴅᴇx —

The Corvid Review - Magpie Chatter notice
We take no responsibility for any and all brain damage which may result from reading this post

a very-late but SUPERSIZED review by the Azure-Winged Magpie.
plus a secret announcement right at the end!

(Half of this is a dramatic re-telling. Half of it’s a review). 

Click here to skip to the review!

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First Officer‘s log, Stardate 96828.08: Okay… I got a lot to talk about. A lot’s happened since I dropped my Captain Marvel review and I think I’ll save them all for a Team Update later this week (or maybe later today). But one of those things is that I’ve been real sick (again) and just couldn’t get back to The Corvid Review anytime recently.

And yep: the Crow’s going through some [BLEEP] as well, which is why he had to rush out his review of the Project Daedalus and why he hasn’t been filling in while I’ve been away. We’ll make up for it all soon, but times are just being really hard on us right now. (At least he’s got Us done bang on time)! 

And on that point… We’ve obviously messed up since our Star Trek Celebration was supposed to end last week. We’re now officially behind and this is the third time I’ve had to do this intro. So… I’m not waiting any more and getting straight to finishing the review (and our celebration) up! 

Awright! Let’s see them (warning: the giffy might be distubring)! smiles on them faces! Come on! Show em! 

Or maybe you don’t feel like smiling. Maybe you’re sad because this is the last Star Trek film with the cast of TNG. Or maybe you’re sad because this is the last Star Trek film set in the original Star Trek universe. 

Here. Let me cheer you up. Here’s today’s swoop swoop! 

Now lets get straight into… 


Yeeeah. This film is really green

Star Trek X:
Clones and Brothers and
Romulans and Remans

SPOILER LEVELS at CRITICAL

🖖 (◔ _ ◔)

So… a bit of backstory. This was supposed to be the Crow’s job. He wanted to do at least one TNG film before we got to the “nu-Trek” universe. But he’s off busy angry today. And since our Captain Marvel review had such a great response… we can’t go around letting our schedule down now can we?! (…ah! dammit!)
I’m taking command!

It’s not like I didn’t want to do it cause of… reasons.

This is gonna be great! It’s film number TEN! Woo-hoo! We all know that every second Star Trek film is better than the last one! I got to celebrate that we’re watching the last good “original” timeline Star Trek film! Y’know what? I’ll go ahead and write up a BIGHUGE post cause I’ve been away so long! That’s how I party round these parts! 

Let’s put this on screen and see what it’s all… all… about…

@ @`) what was that?!

Hoo boy. Hoo boy Hoo boy Hoo boy!
Right… this is gonna be a rough ride.

So first off! The Romulans! The big baddies we’ve known about for so long what with their sneaky tactics and their politics and their staying hush-hush and their being all Vulcans really (really!). Yeah. Them.
They’re total dodoheads in this one.

Their entire senate gets wiped out in one go because… someone walks out and leaves a weapon behind. Okay no. Wait. It’s much worse. 

It’s like a pretty big device that you can’t miss. It’s painted red (which nothing else in this scene is) and it’s got flashing lights and starts leaking out this gas. And everyone kinda just stares at it. Then it shoots a big green laser up into the ceiling and rains pretty green glitter down on everyone.
Which everyone watches all 😍 . And it’s only after this point that some senator bloke calls for security.

And then everyone gets melted.
Like grabbing at throats and “MY FACE IS MELTING! GLURGGLURGGLURG!” melted. 

 (> っ <) …IDIOTS!

This is the senate no?!

This is supposed to be the most secure most defended place in the WHOLE EMPIRE but NOOOOOO! wE’re JuS’ goN’ SiT ‘roUnD WatcHin’ da mYsTEr1oUS biG GReeN LasEr liGhTs!

And yup. This is just what Romulans do! They’ve always been like this apparently. Just these big pointy-eared dodoheads.

But y’know what? It’s gotta get better in the next bit case guess what we got coming up?! 

We got a wedding reception!

The first scene here is just so that Picard (the PatStew! pew-pew!) can make a funny-bunny speech and guess what it’s about?! Remember how I said how cute Riker (Jonathan “Two Takes” Frakes) and Troi (Marina Sirtis) were in the last one? It was deffo my favourite thing in that one and yep! They’re finally getting hitched and Riker’s finally going off to take over his own command! The USS Titan!

(⊙◡) …❤!

I mean… it’s not the best thing in cinema but itty bitty me was waiting for this for like years.

And THEN! we get to a scene that’s only here so that we can hear Data (Brent Spiner) sing. Jus like in the last one (hey! I’m not “complaining”… all that practice paid off)! And everyone’s here too! Geordi (LeVar Burton)’s here (and looks like he had a weeeetle bit too much to eat already. Yup. He’s going food-coma). Crusher (Gates McFadden)’s here. Worf (Michael Dorn)’s here and groaning like usual since everyone’s all like… happy.
But hang up just a mo. I got to point something out here about Worf. The poor guy’s just used for gags in these films isn’t he? It kinda looks like he got fired from his job as Klingon ambassador since he’s behind his old panel again later in this film. Damn! That’s a demotion! 

So… getting back to the guest list: Guinan SHE’S BEEN MARRIED 23 TIMES! (Whoopi Goldberg)’s here (whoo)! And Wesley… Crusher (Wil Wheaton)’s here…?! Wait. WHAT?! Hang up a minute! Wasn’t he supposed to be off travelling?! HOW THE HECK IS HE HERE NEMESIS?! You can’t just drop a Traveller into Starfleet and not tell us anything about that! What the [BLEEP]?! 

(⌣_⌣”) …I feel cheated

But we don’t care right now cause… oh no! There’s some important-sounding something that interrupts Picard’s plans of making like a stripper and they’re off to some desert planet near the Neutral Zone!

And now we get to… 

The damn BUGGYButFIRST! Let me set the scene
(take notes! You’ll need em)… 

  1. See? In his reception speech up there, Picard was talking about how made First Contact with like a bonkzillion species way back when. The planet they’re going to is a Pre-Warp civilisation “at an early stage of industrial development”. So that means… no spaceships or laser guns kay?
  2. There are six (SIX)! positronic signals coming from this PRE WARP planet.
  3. And now Picard’s smiling like a weeeeetle boy and… oh NO. What this ARGO thing he’s been itching to try out? It’s gotta be something SUPER EXTRA important right (oh.. you jus wait)?! 
  4. Okay Mr. Troi… sit yo butt back down (okay. I like this bit)! 

Taken your notes? Good!
So OF COURSE they take a shuttlecraft down to the planet (uumm…) and when we get there… 

AAAAAAAAAAH MY EYES! MY EYES! WHO LIT THIS PLANET?! WHO LIT THIS PLANET?!
Serious talk. I really hope you’re not watching this film out of one eye while on your side in bed in a dark room while your dying and your mum’s away. Jus sayin’…

And then the shuttlecraft doors open. Aaaaaaaand… 

It’s… a dune buggy.

And the film treats it like it’s the the only birthday present Picard ever wanted. 

Here… let me let Data explain. 

I will always be puzzled by the human predilection for piloting vehicles at unsafe velocities.

— Data, a sensible guy

But here’s the thing… it’s PICARD who he’s having to tell this to.
And what’s Picard say to that?! 

*ergh-her-her-her*

— Picard, The Bald and the Bonkers

So anyone who’s been reading The Corvid Review for a while knows what USED to happen when I start writing about films in this kinda detail. But let’s have fun!

They get to the first positronic signal and they find… a ROBOTIC ARM!

Wait. Okay seriously… my eyes! The lighting on this planet is SO bright the sky (which is supposed to be white) turns PINK every other shot because they had to COLOUR GRADE IT! But back to the review!

So they go around collecting (the six) robotic body parts and Picard thinks “this doesn’t feel right” (NOOOOO?! REALLY?!) until they finally find the noggin.

And guess who it is?! Guess who it is?! Iiit’s… 

Oh no. We’re not going through this again!

But there’s no time to wait cause OUTTA NOWHERE! MORE DUNE BUGGIES SHOW UP ALL RUNNING AN GUNNING AND THE CREW GOTTA GET BACK TO THE… 

(◔ _ ◔) why am I yelling…?!

So… the crew legs it to the Argo (which has no defenses of any kind apart from a big ol’ videogame style gun on the back) and while Picard gets around to trying out some “unsafe velocities”, Data only goes and pulls out his PHASER and goes pew-pew!

Let that sink in for a mo. Remember how this is a PRE WARP civilisation and how Picard’s an expert in first contact and all? Right now… he DON’T CARE. He just goes and has fun driving while Worf starts gunning folk down left. Gunning folk down right. Gunning folk down ALL over the place with his GIANT BIG VEHICLE MOUNTED SPACE LASER. And Picard DOESN’T SAY A THING.

Oh oh! And it gets BETTERWORSE! He drives them straight to the shuttlecraft! It’s not like these peeps wouldn’t have found it cause there’s like a buncha them already petting it and tryna take it home (I’m pretty sure some of those vehicles in the back are US Army surplus).

So they Serenity their way straight into their remote-controlled shuttlecraft (before Serenity was a thing) and they take straight off in this impossible flying machine right in front of these PRE WARP folks on jeeps who’re probably losing their minds about the upcoming alien invasion (ALL HAIL OUR NEW BALD OVERLORD! ALL HAIL PICARDOZ!).

(> っ <) …What are you DOING?!

Someone send Nemesis-Picard to Rura Penthe!

So here’s the thing. Remember that one time someone on The Next Generation mentioned that Data might’ve had prototypes? Yup! This is one of them! His name’s B-4 (Brent Spiner with a sore throat) LULZ and he’s just… brought on board!

Cause remember how well that turned out the last time?

And I know Lore (Brent Spiner having fun)’s DED. I know I know (I KNOW)! But WHY COULDN’T IT BE HIM?! I LOVE LORE! He’d be SO cool in a film (but more on that in a mo)! 

Aanyway… B-4 asks why the tall man has a furry face and some comedy music plays in the background and hot damn! We’re twenty minutes in and my fingers hurt already! Anyway! The MAIN story finally gets going when Picard gets a call from Starfleet Command and…

(⊙◡) …❤!

IT’S ADMIRAL JANEWAY (Kate Mulgrew)! The Borg-killer (I didn’t like how it happened but hey) tells Picard that the Romulans have invited the Federation to talk over tea (Earl Grey. Hot) because there’s been “some kind of internal political shakeup” and “the new Praetor” is some chap named Shinzon. And he’s Reman (remember them?!). The Federation doesn’t get it either. Picard goes HUH?! And of course Enterprise is the closest ship. And hoo boy-o. That’s a LOTTA plot for a phone call.

So! Picard lays in a course and… hold up one second. Itsn’t Spock (Leonard Nimoy) on Romulus?! Could we get a little more about what’s going on? Can we get to see Picard going “hmmmmmm…” over the intel?

Nope! Cause this is a FEATURE FILM silly!
Get outta here with your plotting and scheming! 

So we go swoop swoop and we’re off to…
Rome Romanland not-Vulcan dodo-land melty-mountain totally-not-Vulcans-land

(◔ _ ◔) …

ROMULUS thaaat‘s the one!

Oh… and we’re only like twenty minutes in (I told you to strap in didn’t I? Didn’t I?!).

So here’s the thing. The film’s totally setting this Shinzon bloke up to be like a Julius Caesar style character. Get it?! ROMULAN = ROMAN LOL. He’s a Reman who’s princ’d and pauper’d (okay more like he stabby-stabbied people) his way up to becoming the Predator Praetor of the Romulan Star Empire. He’s like the best thing since sliced bread and everyone’s all over his story. And you get it? Right? He’s like this Julius Caesar character. No… really. The film really wants me to know how awesome he is.

Did we get that? Did we? 

Yeah. We get it. No. No. It’s cool. We heard ya the first time. No seriously. Stop bashing us over the head with it. No… serious. Nemesis. WE GET IT.

So while this is all happening… B-4 gets some of Data’s memories downloaded copypasta-d into his noggin by Geordi because this is a GREAT IDEA. And for ONCE Data doesn’t remind everyone that he is “an Android”.

Getting back to the main story… Geordi does his science stuff to B-4 while the Enterprise kinda hangs around Romulus waiting for Shinzon to call back (I mean… you get to take the Enterprise out on a date… you damn well call her number!) for forever. And this is one of those days when Troi’s gone full on Jean Grey instead of not being sure what someone else is feeling.

Let me explain how that works. Her powers are whatever she feels like cause her powers got to come from her hormones (I hear ya girl. I get a lot of mileage from mine! Just ask the Crow’s [BLEEP]ies)! Or at least that’s what whoever the [BLEEP]head writes her character on these days thinks cause her powers don’t make no gorramn sense. This is what happens when you let dudes who got no idea how girls work write girls who’re girls

And just when they’ve had enough of waiting around… this happens

That big spiky ship’s got “fifty-two disruptor banks, twenty-seven photon torpedo bays, primary and secondary shields” according to Worf’s quick reading. And everyone just goes 😲 at the news.

And yep. Picard goes and has to say it… 

She’s a predator… 

— Picard, a bit taken aback

So the big spiky ship calls and… this guy

shows up “on screen”. He introduces the big ship as the Scimitar (more I look at it… the less I want the Enterprise to go on a date with it) and Picard starts talking to him like he’s Shinzon. But the ugly dude’s all like LOL NO and tells Picard that’s he’s just Shinzon’s lackey the Viceroy (Ron “Hellboy” Perlman!).

So everyone sets up a meeting and the ENTIRE BRIDGE CREW get up and go off to meet this mysterious Shinzon guy on this GIANT HUGE WARSHIP they know nothing about! 

What could go wrong amirite?!

So they show up on the Scimitar and they meet Shinzon. And guess who it is? Guess who it is?!

GUESS WHO IT IS?! 

(❤◡❤) …😍!

It’s baby Tom Hardy (we can’t see his face for the next five minutes or something but hey)!

Right! So what’s he do now that he’s here all mysterious and handsome and… oh.
OH. He only starts putting the moves on Troi like a total [BLEEP]-ing creepazoid. 

(◔ _ ◔) …no bueno

So he sets up dinner with Picard and far as the set up goes… that’s all folks!
Only took over half an hour. Efficient!

And because I’m efficient… I’m going to stop going through this damn thing by the scene because if I keep ripping any more hairs out of my head, B-4’s gonna ask me why I got a shiny head. 

So! Just to clear things up… Shinzon (Tom Hardy)’s a clone of Picard who got chucked away because the Romulans thought it was a bad idea to keep going with the plan (expensive plan…) this all comes out during the dinner scene between our two shiny heads and even though it starts out with the whole “here let me tell you what I should be showing you”, it ends up being a pretty good scene when the two shiny heads start going back and forth between their similarities and their differences. 

Ew. Delete this subplot.

So here’s the thing. While all this is going on and the film looks like its starting to get better, it really isn’t. So… that dinner scene ended all nice right? Well right after that we get to this whole subplot about the Enterprise getting “mini hacked” and some nonsense about some radiation that has bIOgEnIC properties (what’s it with the TNG films and radiation that does special things)?! And we got a problem

Okay! So! This radiation they have in this film’s called “thalaron” radiation and “it has the ability to consume organic material at the subatomic level”.

You mean like… pretty much… MOST kinds of radiation out there?!

There’s this little itty bitty bit of the EM spectrum that we can survive being straight in the path of (and even that can hurt us). We’re so damn fragile that Mummy-Earth had to build us a GREAT BIG SHIELD to protect our weak Earthling biology from the BIG BAD radiation of outer space. You don’t need “thalaron” to make radiation scary Nemesis… you just needed some juice. Less Treknobabble! More realSciencebabble!

This woulda worked out just fine without that made up word cause it makes everyone look and sound dumb! We can’t just keep coming up with new sorts of radiation willy nilly! If you’re going to make something up… pick something which works and not something we’ve already got figured out!

So… there’s this scene around here where the Viceroy’s walking around jus peachy in a room with these firebrands around it. Wasn’t this guy scared of a little moonlight (was it moonlight) just a second ago? Where’s my consistency at?!

And y’know what? Shinzon’s a bit of a [BLEEP] to his best bud and protector the Viceroy.
Bad Tom Hardy! Bad

And then… later on… there’s this scene I’m NOT bringing up (or putting up a picture of). But I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it. WHO thought it was a good idea? Hasn’t poor Troi been put through enough in the [BLEEP]ing show?! WHY does [BLEEP] like this keep happening to her?! This one scene just made me want the Scimitar to get blowed up right there and then with Shinzon and the Viceroy and who cares how many Remans on board. I don’t care about any dumb overarching story or nothing. Just [BLEEP] em. [BLEEP] em all! And NO Picard! This is NOT the time to make her “describe it”. Cut my favourite Betazoid a break for heck’s sake!

And… what do you mean… endure…? 

( ) …MAGPIE ANGRY!

I’m just going to skip over how [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP]ed this whole subplot is because I’m probably gonna want to break my damn screen. The heck with it! Picard’s been beamed over! Blow the damn Scimitar up now! I can’t believe this film just made me hate Picard! 

(
breathe, Magpie… breathe…!

<Breaking character> Okay. I’m seriously not happy about that subplot. It just made these characters who I loved so much into repulsive pieces of garbo that I’d rather they never showed up on screen. This is what makes this film as terrible as it is. It takes people we like and turns them into total a-holes.
Far as this review goes, I’m going to pretend that this whole subplot just never happened, otherwise I’m going to start swearing and complaining and burning the house down.</Breaking character>

And of COURSE B-4’s been working for Shinzon (not that the innocent child gets it)! Big surprise! There’s some back and forth and it’s weird that the Crow just reviewed Us (I only watched it tonight) cause there’s a lot of dialogue in this one that is similar to what Jordan Peele’s film has. 

So everyone forgets about replicators and it looks like Shinzon’s not just getting old in the body but losing his head in his “old age” as well cause he starts acting like a total doofus. But it doesn’t even matter cause the film just goes straight into gun toting land.

To clear things up… the reason I brought up replicators up there is because there’s this whole thing about Shinzon needing “a complete transfusion from the only donor with compatible DNA” (Picard). And… Shinzon’s already got a blood sample (I don’t know why he didn’t do “the pRoCEduRe right there and then). So… replicate it? I mean… you could have infinity times the amount of blood samples from just that one you have there right?!

The Romulan Senate also turns against Shinzon but that’s not his problem right now (even though it really should be) and so he’s acting like a dodohead like the rest of the Romulans we’ve seen so far. But EVEN MORE than that! He’s totally acting like kid-Picard right about now! 

And while I’m skipping this action-y middle bit… that whole bit with the space buggy inside the Scimitar is just plain stupid. [BLEEP] that scene. I get that they tried some funny bunnies with it but none of them landed with me. It was just cringe from beginning to finish. 

Data deactivates B-4 “indefinitely” too. So we can just stick him in a jar on the shelf next to James Franco from Alien: Covenant.

And THEN! We’re gearing up for a fight! We’re gearing up for a fight (Why’s everyone picking up phaser rifles though? This is ship to ship combat no?)! 

Oh and there are bible quotes and everything in this one. The line’s nice, but this film’s really trying to sound more important than it is. The film gets one thing right though. This scene (and his little smile while breaking Picard out) are pretty much the end of his character’s little journey ever since the first episode of TNG. I bet they waited a long time to get to this little moment right here. 

Aaaaand right before the Enterprise can make it to Sector 1045… the Scimitar attacks! And believe it or not… the next forty (FORTY)! minutes of the film are basically just boom-boom pew-pew. While the CGI’s good and all (this is one of the better looking Star Trek films yet even though its all dark and GREEN).

But we HAVE to have one pre-battle staredown before all hell breaks loose right? Well… Shinzon shows up via hologram, Picard goes and forgets a little something about his heart and they have words. Shinzon gets to give Picard a speech (I think that’s the first time anyone’s gotten away with that) and we’re back to the big space bada-boom bang-bang!

So let’s see now… Insurrection… now this one… 

(⊙ __ ) I guess this is what Star Trek is now…

Two Romulan warbirds de-cloak and join up with the Enterprise (so this film has TWO revolutions in ONE). See… the Romulan who offers the assist to Picard basically wanted Shinzon to make her his bae before he went mind-raping Troi and he basically roughed her up a bit ( _ ) so OF COURSE she wants revenge right? She’s a “woman spurned” no? 

Okay. That’s not what really happens but the scene I just mention did happen earlier and the next thing you know… she’s dead against Shinzon. And y’know what? It’s time for me to drop character again!

Yamata no Orichi/J-D A: Whoever wrote this is a sexist pig. NONE of the women in this film are given a fair shake. And not only do they BOTH get roughed up by Shinzon… they’re basically treated like garbage OBJECTS right from the beginning. I can totally see (and I know this wasn’t Spiner) whoever the [BLEEP] wrote this touching himself while coming up with the Shinzon x Troi scene. Yuck!

Back to the mauling“review”! 

And oh yeah. Picard offers her a drink for her help. [BLEEP] all that’s holy (that ain’t saying much but still…)

So everyone starts fighting the Scimitre (hey… that’s how Riker says it). Shinzon keeps being an annoying kid but he takes one Romulan ship out. Troi goes all Jean Grey and… I don’t really know how to put this but… she… has some lights shined onto her eyes and revenge… mind rapes… the Viceroy…?
I need a shower now.

So Picard asks everyone to fire at Riker and the Scimitre starts getting the bum blowed off it. There’s a boarding party and more actiony stuff and there’s fistfights and phasers and photon torpedos and… YAAAAAAWN. How long is this fight? Did they forget that Star Trek fans from the 90s aren’t really into this kinda thing?

Riker and the Viceroy get into a fight (I guess cause the writer thought they needed to have a big manly fight for Troi’s “honour” or some [BLEEP] like that. I bet he enjoyed touching himself over it).

The bridge gets blown up and people go flying off into space. And I got a question… what’s the point in showing off that the Enterprise E has a wall that becomes a screen if you’re going to put the bridge in the EXACT SAME PLACE IT’S ALWAYS AT?! I thought that wall meant the bridge was somewhere safer now but NOOOOO

So anyway… Troi (sigh)… Troi takes the wheel and we all know what that usually means.

So Troi goes and wrecks the Enterprise E this time by ramming it down the Scimitre‘s throat (which Shinzon tries to avoid by going… sideways). Riker kicks the Viceroy down an endless shaft… on the… bottom… deck (where is that going)?! The Enterprise‘s auto-destruct goes offline (ya what mate)?! Everyone’s weapons are down. Shinzon turns up the thalaron. And we know what this means! We’re getting a fist fight now!

So there’s a fight between Picard and Shinzon (why does Picard have to do this?! Data could smoke everyone on that ship easy). Data jumps through space and interferes anyway. Shinzon snuffs it Vlad the Poker style and no one cares. Data sends Picard home with this thing that was mentioned earlier and then Data dies and everyone cries.

And y’know what? Data deserved a better film to die in. He deserved a better way to die. Everyone tries to talk about Data a little while later over drinks and Riker completely misremembers how he first met Data. The Enterprise is rebuilt and it’s like no one gives a [BLEEP] apart from everyone in the audience who’s crying their eyes out. But we’ve got better things to do so we get a longer scene about Riker going off to the USS Titan. And why would we care about Data? The film just straight up tells us that B-4’s taken on the “download” of Data’s memories and he’s going to turn into a pirated copy of everyone’s favourite fully-functional android! It’s like nothing [BLEEP]ing happened at all

What a dumpster fire. Apart from the totally hateful way in which this film treats its women and makes the characters in it totally hateful as well… it’s just really not good in any way apart from the CGI (and even that goes f–ed up once in a while). This was supposed to be “A Generation’s Final Journey…” (and no. It didn’t “begin” anything). And it doesn’t deserve to say that. Not only did it totally mess up the characters and make us hate them… it demeaned Data’s character almost as bad as it did Troi’s, and Troi’s had the worst things happen to her out of the whole crew. Okay… there’s always Tasha Yar (Denise Crosby), but you know what I mean. It demeaned Picard and turned Riker into a chest beating gorilla. Geordi and the Doc get [BLEEP] all to do and what was that I said about Data?

This crew deserved a better end. I really really really liked First Contact and things just got so much worse after that film. Did you know that the negative reaction to this film nearly made Tommy Hardy top himself?! This was his first big film role and Shinzon’s actually a pretty good villain (much as I hate the [BLEEP]). Heck. I even kinda liked the Viceroy. But it’s just that the film isn’t good. They both deserved better from Star Trek

It didn’t help that the director had NO CLUE about Star Trek and just wanted to make an action film. Remember when I said that the CGI was good? It is… but the film doesn’t look good. It’s just the bits and bobs that look nice.

Lore would’ve improved the story since its about brothers and clones. If there was a sequel… they could’ve given the crew a better end. But NemesisNemesis is officially the worst Star Trek film in the franchise. Worse than The Final Frontier. Worse than Insurrection. There. I said it. It made me hate some of my favourite characters and it messed with some of my other favourite characters in ways I hated. It’s also got the first sex scene in any Star Trek anything and look at what they did with it.
(I’m done talking about this [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP] of [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP]). 

Far as our Star Trek celebration goes… I’m done with my run on the films (yep! That’s the suprise… kinda)! I’ve got one last review to drop and we’re nearly there at the finish line! Next thing you hear’s gonna be from the Captain (I know he’s going to have a problem with this post but I’ll deal with him) and I’ll be back to see you lot with some cute fuzzy-wuzzies soon!

Love you lot loads and I hope you hated Nemesis as much as I did! Oh right! Before I forget… 

(
breathe, Magpie… breathe…!

🌬  (>・<Hurrrgh!

🌬 🗑 🌬 (ಠ  ಠ!

…into the bucket Nemesis goes! 

I’ll see you in the next one! 

Azure-Winged Magpie up! Up! And Awayyy! *BONK!* 


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Final Ratings

THE AZURE-WINGED MAGPIE: 0.5/10
THE CROW: 1/10


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the corvid review - star trek month video promo - yo8z1hl

See Also

the corvid review - star trek month star trek discovery season 2 - kepxwzr


Here’s the official poster:


11 thoughts on “Roast-a-view: Star Trek X: Nemesis [2002]; She’s a… Stinker! (Prepare to be Annoyed)”

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