an announcement by the Azure-Winged Magpie.
(◔ ◡ ◔✿) !
Hello hello and chatter chatter!
We’re back (kinda)!
I wrote a book in the last few hours. I’m calling it…
“How to Get So Bladdered You Miss Jan 1st And Wake
Up With the Worst Headache in the World At 8 PM“.
(I bet it’s going to be a best-seller).
Aaanyway… Hey-ho! It’s 2019! (I know I’m late to the party but at least I thought ahead)! And we’ve got a LOT to get done. Yeah. Sure. We got reviews and things coming up, but we’re also working on a new website, and a YouTube channel and all sorts of sweet things behind the scenes! Our next post’s going to be almost a week away (maybe there’ll be one in the middle) because it’s a really important super secret one that’s just going to take ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to get done!
But while that gets done… I get to tell you lot about all the exciting new things I’ve come up with for The Corvid Review!
- I’m easing up with my loonier side. It just doesn’t make my reviews look good any more now that we’re going professional with them. It’ll still pop in when I get my claws on some tastier yum-yums, but I feel like something changed in me last week…
- Since I wasn’t really able to do much for a long time last year and it was only Horror Month (page coming soon!) that got me writing again… I decided “Hey! Why don’t we do theme months more often?!” And so… I came up with a few ideas! I’ll put the first two down below (and I’m totally not taking up space because they’re going to take time to load or anything).
- The super secret post that we’re working on is going to take up a HUGE lot of time. So I’m really thinking we need to choppy-chop it up so that people don’t have to read a billion things at once. I kinda messed up and we ended up stuffing TWENTY reviews into ONE post on the 31st and I don’t think that did us any favours since not that many people are going to know those reviews even exist. This link to our “Past Reviews“ is the most important link on this site but not too many people click on it because of the drop-down menu. We’re coming up with a better way to organise things but it’s all going to be on the new website. Not here. And it’s going to be a while until we’re ready to launch it (maybe June).
- My Bucket‘s getting re-branded so that we can keep things a little safer FW. And Imma be more creative with my potty mouth to get past any Big Brothers lurking around. We’re going to be using more content warnings and banners so that people know what every post’s going to be like.
- The Crow’s going to be going back through the “Legacy” (pre-2018) reviews and touching them up to fit with our new style and what not. This is going to take a long long long time. But when he’s done he’ll put up an Update saying he’s done it.
- And now…
It’s time I got to talk about my THEMES!
And we’re startin’ things off ’round here with… (click on the pictures. They look a lot better).
— Sᴛᴀʀ Tʀᴇᴋ Mᴏɴᴛʜ —
Okay. So… it’s not really going to be a month. It’s more like two months.
See I’m a MASSIVE Trekkie (and the Crow’s even massiver than me). We even got a Star Trek theme here on The Corvid Review. He’s in Command Red and I’m in Science Blue. He gets four pips cause he’s Captain and I have three cause I’m NUMBER ONE!
BUT! We haven’t done much Star Trek here on The Corvid Review. The Crow did Star Trek Beyond way back when, and then he started doing Discovery episodes until we started fighting and all that. He even finished the damn series and did three huge posts on Star Trek Continues around the time that show (which we loved!) finished airing. He never really “cleaned up” his reviews of the Star Trek: Discovery episodes, so he’ll be turning them out until the show comes back fifteen days from now (yay! Free and easy reviews!). And he actually starts complaining about the show… (finally)!
And while he’s doing that and getting the new series done and pushing out Star Trek Continues reviews… I’m going to finally watch the Star Trek films! And review them! Y’see… I never watched them. And the Crow only really watched the TNG/nu-Trek ones. So we’re gonna have a LOT of things to talk about! That’s 19 Discovery episodes left (probably chopped down to 16 posts). 3 Star Trek Continues posts. And 12 films for me to get through. So… yeeeah… I wasn’t kidding when I said we had a LOT coming up. That’s 31 posts minimum right there. And most of that’s coming in the next sixty days…
And we’re going to be “upping” the Trek theme a little bit round these parts too. But I’m gonna hold onto that since the Crow wants to make sure he’s got our design down first.
(I don’t know why it’s doing that tablecloth thing. It doesn’t look like that at the proper size.)
(And yep. We used the anime font. Bite me).
I’m the expert in all things dealing with my King. And so guess what?! I’m going to be running down ALL THE FILMS in the ENTIRE Gojira franchise (and we already have a few done and up) so that you’re all up to date before GODZILLA: King of the Monsters drops at the end of May! I’m going to be going all the way through the Shōwa period, the Heisei period, the Millenium period, the Modern period and the MonsterVerse (again)! I’ll mash a few films together into “Monster Posts” and look at some other films that are connected to King of the Monsters (like the ones starring Her Fuzzy Buzziness) but they’re all going to be there. And we’re going to start things off early-ish with Part 3 of our Preview series later this month!
(Expect me to go full fan-girl in these posts).
I’ll maybe leave out a few of the comics and games unless I can get my mitts on em! But they’re mostly going to be film reviews. And YES… I’m going to look at “that” thing too…
I’ve already decided what the other themes for the year are going to be but I’m gonna keep mum about them so I can drop them in all surprise! when they come around. But what I can tell you is that there are going to be SIX big themes this year. And three of them (and they’re big ones) are going to be kept super secret. So here’s what our plans look like right now (okay… spoiler! Taking over the world’s one of them!):
And now that I’ve gone and said it… I guess I should get to work. No?
Let’s see what a headache that BIGHUGE post’s gonna be…
Azure-Winged Magpie up! Up! And Awayyy! *BONK!*